Exactly what are these? Collectively, they form element of a “bride cost” – money and presents provided by a person’s family members to a female’s upon their wedding. At school in Nigeria, during Yoruba history course, we had been told about ladies who attracted extremely high bride costs, determined by their characteristics. Inversely, there have been females whoever bride costs had been therefore paltry, it had been an embarrassment. I do not recall the gifts that are specific whatever they signify any longer, but I actually do keep in mind that these classes by which we had been taught about our history were, for contemporary budding feminists, a difficult pill to ingest.
I will be contemplating bride price again this week, however, due to a brand new application that’s been doing the rounds within the African corners of my internet life. Initially, I became reluctant to create concerning this application after all. The narrative of Africa and Africans in the united kingdom along with other Western, mostly white areas can be so old, therefore outdated and false, so wearying, that we conserve African tales for my safer areas, places where there isn’t any empathy gap. I love dealing with Nigeria without some internet complete complete stranger telling me personally to “simply get on it! ” Referring to Africa – its good as well as its bad – in the internet wears me away. So when we third-culture kids meet up, occupying that middle area when you look at the Venn diagram that overlaps our moms and dads’ countries with all the West’s, we are able to laugh about any of it. That is what this software is mostly about.
Sharing the full tale, not only the news
The Bride Price app calculated that I became well well well worth the “Premium Babe”-ly amount of 494,500 naira that is nigerianNGN) –about ?1,816. Just How achieved it get to this figure? Via a few concerns, and they’re the genuine celebrity for this app. There is the choice to always check “we are always aware of, even when we cannot see or hear them, is our enemy for yourself” or “for your friend/enemy” – because as Nigerians, one thing.
Therefore, also I was smiling before I clicked. Then arrived the true concerns: my height; my fat (choices included the very”medium” that is standard and the harder-to-decipher “Mama Ronke” – so what does that even mean? ); my leg shape (“straight”, “sexy bow leg (Beyonce)” etc); my facial beauty (from “intimidating” to “complete no try”) an such like. Each response features a value that is monetary no kola pea pea nuts here – often a “discount”, 60 percent if you should be regrettable sufficient to end up being the indecipherable “Mama Ronke”. The application does take time to determine the bride cost and delivers a jaunty message with a blinking green shekere (a West African guitar): “Please wait – the elders are consulting. At the conclusion of the test”
The phrase “if you do not laugh, you will cry” seems, inside your, to be manufactured particularly for Nigerians. The accepted narrative is certainly one of woe, a country lurching from pillar (of calamity) to publish (of disaster) despite a reference wide range that may easily function as the response to our dilemmas. The thought of bride pricing is a screen to your past, a past that will be not at all times glorious or edifying whenever seen through a lens that is modern.
But this application is sly – the nuance might not be noticeable to all optical eyes, but it is here. Under skin color – which might or might not have had an effect on bride cost within the olden times and definitely things within the hierarchy of beauty today – comes five groups. “Half caste”; “Light epidermis”; “Dark”; “Whitenicious”; and “Lupita” (like in Nyong’o). The worthiness for every single decreases while you get along record, you start with +NGN50,000. Issue answer and– choices simultaneously acknowledge the colour-struck manner attribute of the swathe of Nigerians, along with noting without fuss the product range of tints we are available obviously. There clearly was a level associated with the Lupita skin, which can be a tiny thing, yet not.
There are more markers. On teeth, a “white with gap” has got the greatest value (my mom has expressed dismay that none of her kiddies inherited our grandmother’s “beautiful” diastema), while “Ronaldinho” includes a -NGN40,000 label. The place and citizenship concerns are fine “don’t cry – laugh” examples (America happens tops in both), and a Masters is desirable, however a PhD features a penalty of -NGN100,000. Employment views oil and fuel appear trumps (+NGN100,000); my journalism profession includes a value of just +NGN20,000. Fortunately, i will be “redeemed” by my English accent – the best – respected at +NGN45,000.